Busyholism is the inability to recognize or experience a need for authentic Rest.
Let’s do some exposure therapy and get some attitudes out from under the mat and into print.
You know Busyholism has attached itself to your lifestyle when……
You feel guilty if you relax. A mix of the Protestant work ethic that your usefulness is in direct proportion to your productivity, and the Catholic guilt a friend told me about. If she ever sits down during the day she still hears a voice from her childhood echo in her head saying -‘who do you think you are to feel you are so important you can sit and do nothing.’ So she gets up and becomes active.
You disapprove of others who seemingly do ‘do nothing’, while you work at being a productive, responsible human being, deserving of all the benefits you gain along the way.
Your role models are hardworking successful people who have shown us that the road to success is paved with long hours and sacrifice –without being aware of any price they have had to pay along the way in their health or relationships.
It just built up insidiously and now you accept the lie that it is out of your control, it is just a season you are going through, or that it is normal for everyone in your family or work place. ”But everyone here eats their lunch at their desks!”
You want to fit as much life into your life as you can, and equate that with filling every day with opportunity / activity.
You use it as an excuse and a crutch to justify putting off less favorable tasks
You don’t recognise the danger signs of stress in your lives and resent others who may point them out to you.
You find it hard to assign your life to a range of priorities. Everything from family, work, exercise, hobbies, community involvement, cultural events, etc. is of equal importance and urgency.
You love the short term benefits of taking on every opportunity, and cannot imagine you will ever suffer from the long term costs.
You become black and white about what is success and failure and have unreal expectations of what you should be achieving day by day.
You feel empty and frustrated if you ever find yourself somewhere with ‘nothing to do’ or when you are stuck in a queue.
You couldn’t even recognise opportunities to rest when they turn up.
Your mind is always active, day and night, and sometimes your thoughts feel like a disturbed hive of bees in your head.
If you are a woman, the legacy of the super-woman of the 1980’s is still around. She moved away form ‘unproductive work at home’ to ‘real work in the marketplace’ and still ‘did it all’. She managed family, work, socializing, home and community.
You accept medication from the doctor without researching what lifestyle changes you could add in to reduce your need for them.
And there is always the temptation to get someone like me off your back and invest into the lie that obviously you are the kind of person who actually doesn’t need it!
Gosh that is all so negative.
But it doesn’t have to be your default normal.
The positive is always available.
With a bit of time and practice you can learn what the Rest feels like.
I am aiming for these blogs and book to give you the tools you need for busyness with long term sustainability.